


After the War

by Arowen12



Category: Shazam! (2019)
Genre: Drowning, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Not A Shipfic, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sibling Bonding, Talking about Billy's Mom, What Happens After, dealing with emotional trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-16 15:23:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18524263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arowen12/pseuds/Arowen12
Summary: Have you ever drowned? The water fills your mouth even when you’ve closed it and it’s in your lungs and you can’t breathe and it burns. A car passes by, the light moving through the windows and over their room in an arc so that Billy can see Freddy’s face. His expression is soft and when he notices Billy he whispers, “We’re here okay.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone, we are here with another fic, this time about Shazam! which I absolutely loved. This fic is going to be more like a collection of one-shots rather than a cohesive narrative and will focus on events that occur after the movie because the ending left some stuff hanging. Read on and enjoy!
> 
> Shazam! Is the property of DC

X

There’s a hand on the back of his neck cold, cold as the icy water dripping from his face over his eyes, through his nose, and clogging his throat tasting like water but worse like something too sanitary. He opens his mouth around the word, the important word that can stop it. The water rushes over him again, filling his mouth before he can close it and Billy can’t breathe can only flail and plead in his mind for it to stop. Have you ever drowned?

The water fills your mouth even when you’ve closed it and it’s in your lungs and you can’t breathe and it burns. You can get your head above water for a moment, and you can only gasp, spit out the taste of stale water before being submerged again. And again.

Billy tries to twist out of the bad guy’s grasp, Doctor Sivana but he can’t, can only taste the surge of water. Except there is no air this time and Billy wonders if the man has finally decided to kill him. To kill a kid before he can even graduate. There’s darkness surrounding his vision filtering in like the tide and the sound of battle filters through the water like someone dropped a phone in the tub, blurry and distorted. His family is fighting and no one notices that he is drowning, that he is always drowning and they are inexperienced and they could all die. His chest is tight and oh god he can’t breathe, he can’t breathe.

He jerks awake to a cover of darkness, thick and heavy with the sound of his breathing loud and raspy in his chest. Billy can’t see, can’t feel it’s like he’s floating and the only thing to ground him is the sound of his breath ripping through the air, too loud, too fast, and not enough.

Slowly, Billy’s fingers tighten and feel the comforter (something hand-knitted) beneath his fingers, his shaking fingers, he hears the sound of a passing car outside the window, the sounds of the city humming like a beating heart or the pounding of the waves… Billy’s fingers tighten in the sheets and he draws in a ragged breath as he carefully sits up, the ceilings low at the top of the bunk and he can’t count how many times already he’s hit his head.

Billy is pretty certain it’s the first time he’s had the top bunk. Usually, whatever foster parent had (unwisely) decided to take him already had a few children crammed into the nooks and crannies of their house. Or they didn’t have a bunk bed or a bed.

“Billy?”

A disembodied voice calls from below, all Billy can see in the darkness of the room is the outline of the desk and Freddy’s Wonder Woman poster which he secretly likes but won’t admit to because Superman is way cooler alright. Billy realises in the same vein that his breathing is still struggling from his chest and that his hands are still shaking. A part of him, a large part of him doesn’t want to respond to Freddy, he’s been on his own so long, he doesn’t need help, he’ll get through it like everything else. But he has to trust his family, right? Isn’t that something families do?

“Yeah?”

Billy responds and his voice is hoarse, croaking from his throat like the frogs by that pond in that one house with the red siding that Billy had almost liked but for the constant smell of tobacco. There’s silence for a long moment before the sound of covers shifting fills the small space, a horn blares in the distance and lights flash by the window illuminating everything in halftones as Freddy’s voice drifts through the room.

“I’d come up and sit with you, but you know… darkness and a disabled kid and all. So, wanna come down?”

It’s casual and so Freddy (and he likes already knowing Freddy) that Billy can’t help but snort and huff a laugh that doesn’t quite sit right in his chest. Billy tenderly peels back the covers but the house is warm, warmer than it probably should be and he plants his hands on the ladder and for a long moment stares at the darkness below him. He can feel the phantom sensation of a hand on the back of his head, water sliding down his throat and filling his lungs like a ship with a breach in its hall in those war movies that one foster parent absolutely loved.

The first step is always the worst, you have to shift and lean for a moment over the edge until your toe finds the next peg, and the one after that, and the one after that with only the loud rasp of his breath and the feel of Freddy’s eyes to fill that moment. Billy’s feet touch on the floor solid one moment and swaying the next cold beneath his thin socks. There’s a sound like Freddy’s patting the bed and Billy tumbles into the bunk squishing against Freddy who squawks and shuffles Billy until they can both lean comfortably against the wall plastered with even more posters.

Freddy’s breathing is light, barely audible and he’s a line of warmth pressed against Billy’s side grounding him just a little bit so that the next car that passes by isn’t quite as jarring. For a long moment, there’s nothing but silence between the two of them, thoughts drifting through his mind like the gentle current of a river. Suddenly, it’s not so calm.

“Do you want to talk about it? Cause like they always say talking about it makes it feel better and I don’t know the truth of that like if there’s scientific research but I am totally open to be the support person right now.”

Billy can’t help the small smile as Freddy rambles fitting the words into a single breath with an ease that Darcy must have learned from him. But no, he doesn’t want to talk about the nightmare of being drowned, or the one about watching his family die before he could save them, or the old wizard crumbling to dust in front of him, or the ones about his mom. He’s good thanks (that’s a lie).

Freddy takes his silence for the answer it is and presses his shoulder just a bit closer to Billy’s. Freddy takes a breath and pauses as the sound of footsteps slips pass their door, Billy wonders if it’s Rosa going down to the kitchen for a cup of tea, or Darcy needing to use the washroom, or Eugene realising he’s been gaming all night and finally going to bed. The footsteps pass, a door opens and then closes and the house settles with that weird shift that Billy never understood, like how does a house do that?

“You know a lot of Supers have secret identities and I think that’s a good thing but at the same time it provides this front of invincibility, or at least you know emotional invincibility. Cause like we see Supers fighting and yeah, they get hurt but we never know what happens behind the scenes. Do you remember that one fight Batman had where he like broke his back or something with the Bane villain? We didn’t see what happened afterwards, he was gone and then bam he was back and totally fine. It’s just they expect Supers to be that Superheroes they have to be invincible and they’re expected to act like adults. But we’re not like adults you know? I mean like we’re better at using the internet than most adults but it’s okay to hurt because other heroes hurt too you know. Like I bet Batman has a family or something that he goes home to every day after a night of crimefighting he probably has like a job you know like in all those conspiracy theories.”

“What you believe Batman is Bruce Wayne too?”

Billy responds cutting in just to feel the words, to hear his own voice as he tries to process what Freddy is saying beneath a paragraph of rambling. It’s a good thing Freddy isn’t subtle. Freddy turns his head, in the darkness of the bunk Billy can’t see anything but he gets the feeling Freddy is raising his brow as if to suggest why not? Who else is as tall as Batman? Platforms in the boots. Has the same skin colour? Literally hundreds of people. Is a man? Also, literally hundreds of people. Can afford the money necessary to have a Batmobile? A slightly fair point.

“Anyways we’re not debating over Batman’s secret identity we’re talking about how it’s totally okay to be emotionally open okay Billy?”

Freddy’s earnest now, staring at Billy through the darkness, as if there’s a light on and he can still see straight through Billy, like in that light experiment, like he’s translucent. Billy is silent because he gets that it’s good to be emotionally open or whatever but he’s not used to that, he doesn’t want to talk about it. Some part of him still remembers being a kid, being too open and people taking advantage of that. Some part of him is used to being out for number one.

The covers shift and then Freddy leans his head against Billy’s shoulder, he stiffens surprised at the sudden contact and glances down into the darkness as if it might allow him to see something. There’s nothing just the heavy weight on his shoulder and Billy forces himself to relax. He’s in their room, he’s safe and he is in control of what’s happening at the moment.

“I-I was dreaming of the fight in the carnival and… I wasn’t in you know my Super form and the bad guy was drowning me in this pool of water and I couldn’t… I couldn’t say it.”

The words feel heavy as they drop from his mouth like they’re stones sinking to the bottom of a lake bringing with it the crushing weight of admittance as if saying it out loud has made the whole experience real, all of it. The fight, the feeling of being punched, the constant fear of watching his family about to die. He can’t help the way his eyes burn and hurt and his throat is suddenly clogged and he’s drowning all over again.

Freddy makes a sound but it’s indistinct as Billy reaches up and roughly brushes the tears on his cheeks away, the liquid is cool against his hand and Billy pauses uncertainty and confusion piling onto all the other emotions swirling inside him. Freddy’s head isn’t on his shoulder and before Billy can try and see what he’s doing two arms wrap around his chest, one hand strokes over his back in a gentle motion that pulls at his shirt.

Without thinking, Billy’s hand tighten around Freddy, dig into the old Superman pajamas that are mostly faded, his chest heaves and he grasps for breath in the same way you grasp for a falling coin, his eyes sting and Billy feels wound too tight and stripped open so that everything from the past week is suddenly out on his skin. Freddy’s hand on his shoulder is a comforting motion, half-forgotten memories of his mom doing the same thing, or the times he was sick and they genuinely cared even when they shouldn’t have.

He could have died; they all could have died. It’s terrifying to even consider, to think of the Seven Deadly Sins holding his family and a moment away from killing Darcy. But they’re okay now, they’re all asleep in their beds and they’re safe.

Slowly, through hiccups and the ugly feeling of drying tears Billy catches his breath and relaxes the grip he has on Freddy’s shirt, he wonders if it’ll leave permanent creases in the material. He pulls his head back as a car passes by, the light moving through the windows and over their room in an arc so that Billy can see Freddy’s face. His expression is soft and when he notices Billy he whispers, “We’re here okay.”

It’s enough.

X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter, I really wanted to explore the aftermath of the battle because something like that is seriously going to affect a child. Also, this isn’t a shipfic, Billy and Freddy are brothers if you want to read it as something else that’s your purview but this fic is strictly platonic. Reviews/comments are always appreciated till next time!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, we are back with another chapter! A huge thank you to everyone who commented/reviewed on the last chapter. This one is going to focus on Billy’s mom so enough said. I hope you all enjoy, read on!
> 
>  
> 
> Shazam! is the property of DC

X

They’re in the cafeteria, it’s a shortened schedule, or an assembly schedule, something of that manner which Billy can never manage to wrap his head around. After all, when you’re moving schools at least once a year but more like every few months, it's hard to get an idea of what stable is. He supposes he actually needs to start doing that, getting used to the school, and it sits strangely in his stomach warm in a way that he wants to baulk at. It’s been a long time since he wanted to stay somewhere since he could stay somewhere without worrying about finding his mom.

Billy frowns at his food, a sandwich with some kind of not-meat and lettuce, it’s already half-eaten and Billy hasn’t even noticed that he’s been eating. He shakes his head as if it will clear away the sensation of cotton or like a cloud of dust floating about his head and glances up.

Darla is talking eagerly to Mary who is smiling at the flurry of words about a recent discovery in the zoology field regarding octopuses… octopi? Pedro is idly watching Eugene as he plays on a Nintendo Switch that they all have no idea how he acquired ignoring his homework with a desperation Billy feels in his soul. Because yeah homework sucks. And Freddy is beside Billy, talking about the recent battle between Aquaman and this supervillain with a huge black helmet and a spear.

Billy feels a moment of guilt that he hasn’t been listening to Freddy but it’s quickly flushed away as he takes another bite of the sandwich and watches his family talk. Some of the kids in the cafeteria are staring at them, still awed or impressed or whatever else that two superheroes were in their school almost week ago. But for the most part, everything has gone back to normal and instead, everyone is talking about the recent scandal with that one Youtuber or whatever.

“Are you listening to anything I’m saying cause like this is pretty big for us now you know? We like have to be aware of this stuff now.”

Freddy asks around the straw of a juice box, the flaps at the top sticking out so it looks like a weird too long plane. Billy nods, conveniently takes a mouthful of the sandwich, which is pretty good, and after he swallows replies, “Yeah you were just talking about the damage to that historical building.”

His answer gets a smile, bright and floppy kind of like a puppy before Freddy nods and continues talking about the old building that was destroyed in the battle and the costs to replace it. Billy finishes his sandwich and stares at the table uncertain of what to do now that he isn’t occupied by the conventional method of actually eating food. He’s not really good at the whole socializing thing, or the whole family thing, or anything really. He only needs to look back at the past few weeks to understand that much. Mary, who totally has a secret superpower she never told them about that allows her to sense when any of them are even the slightest bit in trouble glances up and smiles at Billy.

“Everything okay?”

She mouths and Billy nods and attempts to ignore the urge to shift on the bench or to just leave the cafeteria. As if it’s a gate opening for a flood, Eugene glances up from his Switch, adjusts the glasses on the bridge of his nose, and asks, “Hey Billy did you go and meet your mom?”

There’s a moment where everyone freezes, like a fresco, like they’re caught in one of tMr. Freeze’s ice rays. He can feel their eyes on him, but it feels like it’s not just them, it’s the whole cafeteria suddenly curious about Billy Batson newest member of the foster family™. It rushes over him again the sight of his mom in that hallway that had tasted of mould and water, her with stringy hair and watery eyes, the man yelling in the background, and her words. The truth, the ugly truth that part of Billy wishes he never heard, wishes he could go back to that moment and tell himself to stop, don’t knock on the door you’re fine as you are.

But he can’t. And the truth of the matter is that his mom didn’t want him, thought he would be better in the foster care system than with a seventeen-year-old teen mom. Maybe she was right. It still burns in his chest, this knowing abandonment.

Billy glances up from the table, the plain grey table with its grains that are easy to stare at, and sees the look on their faces, twisting from expectant to wary. Billy can’t breathe, can only feel the weight of their eyes like the whole room on him and its different from being in the suit, from being on a stage, from being a hero. He pushes away from the table, grabs his backpack and before he can think about it, he’s gone, out of the cafeteria with its constant buzz of chatter and the press of their eyes even now drilling into his spine as he runs away.

The word is there in his mind, on the tip of his tongue and he wants to say it, wants to fly out of this school and far away from Philadelphia, from the reality of what is happening. He is so, so thankful he has his family, he absolutely loves his siblings (and it’s surprising how easy it is to love them all in the short time he’s known them maybe almost dying does that) but it doesn’t erase what happened, doesn’t erase who he is.

He can’t help but wonder like he’s been wondering since that day, how his mom could have left him, did she not love him? Did she not care for him? Has he just been unworthy of love this whole time? Why did she never look for him? He can’t think about it.

Billy stops, he’s at one of the back entrances to the school, the one that leads to the fields and that patch of wall that is always cool with shade where the older kids like to pretend to be intimidating. His chest is heaving, he can’t quite breathe and that’s just something else on top of it all and his eyes are watering again. He hates crying, hates the pain behind his eyes the feeling of sobs building up in your chest and hitching your breath, the loss of control.

He pushes the door open; it creaks and groans and clangs shut behind him as he steps out into the sunlight. It’s pale with the light of the early afternoon, everything washed out with that snow that is more grey than white and the air is cold enough to fog his breath. Billy doesn’t hesitate and deviates towards the wall, there’s a corner where it branches off to start the gym and Billy squishes there the sound of his breathing and the city filling the air as he wipes away the tears cooling on his cheeks.

Billy tucks his head into arms and settles onto the cold pavement. He closes his eyes and tries to focus on his breathing like in that mindfulness pamphlet their gym teacher gave them as she talked about breathing techniques and a lot of other stuff Billy tuned out because had only just arrived and he already hated school again. It’s quiet outside, there’s just the wind rustling over the chain fence and the sound of cars passing by. Slowly but surely Billy’s breathing slows down and all he can feel is the cold seeping into his fingers and his legs. It’s numb, easy to push away everything that had happened and to just focus on his breathing and the feel of his fingers as he flexes them.

The doors clang open in the distance and Billy knows its probably one of his siblings or a concerned teacher but he really can’t bring himself to move stuck in this void of if he’s not moving, he’s not feeling and that’s better than anything else. Footsteps encroach on the small piece of concrete he’s sequestered himself in and Billy inhales softly and shifts the slightest bit to peer up from his arms. He’s a hero he can’t be a coward, he has to face the struggles in his life, right?

It’s Mary standing there rubbing her hands over her arms and staring down at Billy with a concerned crease to her expression, Darla is beside her, tucking her phone into her pocket one moment and squatting beside Billy the next. She nudges up against his side like a kitten and Billy shifts just a bit so that she can press a bit closer, it’s not fair for her to freeze because he decided to have a meltdown outside in January.

Mary leans against the wall and stares down at Billy, she’s silent peering at the empty courtyard with a frown that is almost sad and maybe nostalgic like she’s remembering being a kid because adults like to do that and she’s practically an adult. Darla’s fingers curl into his own and he glances down into her eyes as she asks, “What happened Billy?”

He opens his mouth as if to answer before he pauses and shakes his head, the words are stuck in his throat trapped there. The doors open again and the sound of Freddy’s crutch clattering against the pavement echoes out in the courtyard followed by the sound of footsteps. Pedro leans against the gym wall with a huff and a frown that doesn’t really reach his eyes as Eugene squishes beside him out of the wind but still close enough to Billy that he can see the guilty expression on the kid’s face. Freddy carefully clatters to the ground beside Billy taking a moment to reach over and cover Darla and Billy’s hands with his own.

“You know for the first weeks I was at home I kept trying to run away, I even almost broke my ankle climbing out the second story window. I just believed that the foster system wasn’t going to work, that my life would be better if I could just be on my own. And you know it took me a while to realize that being on my own wasn’t everything, having people to rely on, who I could talk to, who could support me made me better, helped me to grow so that I could be independent in the right way.”

Mary said, her voice was soothing, the kind that could totally narrate a video or give a TedTalk and Billy glanced briefly up at where she was picking at the sleeves of her sweater and staring at the ground. Darla beside Billy nodded vigorously and, in an excited whisper, stated, “Yeah, I was really afraid to talk for the longest time because I was afraid people would leave. But then I found out that the people who matter stay no matter what.”

“I used to know my biological family you know? They weren’t great but they had been decent until... But it didn’t change who I am or that I have a family now.”

Pedro said quietly when he spoke it was always like pulling teeth. Billy stared at his hands for a long moment processing what his siblings were telling him, they had the courage to share their stories, they spoke without fear that anyone would judge them. He wished he was brave enough for that. He supposed he could always try.

“I did meet my mom. I guess you guys don’t know what happened before though. When I was six, we were at a carnival, like where we fought,” he had seen flashes of her throughout the crowd, “and I got lost. She didn’t come to find me. But after Eugene gave me her address I went. She was living in this apartment and there was a guy yelling in the back of her apartment and… she said…”

Darla leaned against his shoulder and Freddy planted his head on Billy’s shoulder, pressed on either side Billy glanced at Mary who was smiling gently with sad eyes, Eugene who was staring at the ground with a frown, and Pedro staring off into the distance. Billy continued, “She was seventeen when she had me, the father walked out. She thought the foster system could raise me better then she could. So, she…. she didn’t look for me.”

The words stand alone in the courtyard, lingering and tangible like Billy can reach out and tuck them back into his chest if he’s fast enough. But it’s almost like there’s a weight off his chest at the same time, like now that he’s said it, he can move on, actually move on. It’s true and there’s nothing else to do but accept it. Mary crouches in front of Billy, her expression is soft and he doesn’t know how to describe it like it’s sad or understanding or even happy.

He flinches when she reaches out but she only wipes away the tears on his cheeks with a gentle hand and says, “What happened sucks Billy and you should never have had to go through that. And it’s okay to be sad, to be angry. But your mom loved you she probably just thought she was doing was best. Maybe it is for the best because we all got to meet you Billy and if we didn’t none of what happened with… the lightning gang would have happened.”

“Yeah you would never have met us and where would we be?”

Darla adds one hand snaking around his arm as she smiles brightly up at him with puppy eyes. Billy inhales and nods, his life is his own and he decides what happens, right now he wants to be happy, he wants to have a family. He’s ready to accept that. Maybe his mom can do that now too.

“Guess I should apologize for finding the address.”

Eugene states with an awkward shrug and refuses to make eye-contact. Billy gently disentangles himself from Freddy and Darla’s octopus arms and kneels in front of Eugene, carefully placing his hands on his shoulders he responds, “Nope. Thank you for helping me find her Eugene, thank you all of you, because if I hadn’t found her, I would’ve just kept looking and I wouldn’t be able to properly be a part of this family.”

“I think this calls for a group hug.”

Freddy states with a grin as Mary helps him to his feet and Darla pops up beside him and in the next minute, they’re all shuffled together playing a strange game of Twister until everyone is mostly comfortable. Billy smiles over the faint sense of unease at being so cloistered and tightens his arms around Eugene and feels Mary’s hands stroke gently over his shoulders. It feels like home

“Can we get hot chocolate?”

Darla’s voice pipes up and Billy snorts as they all break apart from the obligatory happy-ending group hug with red cheeks and chilled fingers and that faint sense of awkwardness. They all look to Mary who is the defacto adult and the only one with any money. She purses her lips and for a long moment, she looks like she’s going to be the responsible adult but then she nods. Billy grins, he kind of loves his family.

X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, in it we got to explore more of the sibling bond between them and also Billy’s mom. Not all the chapters are going to be Billy central these were just the ones I had planned so far. Reviews/comments are always appreciated, till next time!


End file.
